It's my boy!

On April 27, 2016 at 2:49 pm my son said, "The adventure begins today!" His name is Joseph Charles Galan. I am reminded of a phrase from a 90's songs... "These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive. These are the moments I'll remember all my life, I've got all I've waited for and I could not ask for more."

I Wonder Why

Two weeks before Ben was born, Traci and I attended an auction in Lowden. Having never been to an auction, we were unaware of what to expect. Although most people enjoy sunny days from the comfort of a well air conditioned home, it turns out that standing outside in mid 90's weather takes it out of you. Not to mention being two weeks away from heading into labor. Regardless, we arrived at around 9 am and left the auction after 4pm. We saw a couple Stanley Steamers, several Indian motorcycles, over 50 John Deere tractors and various other cars and heavy equipment auction off. There even was a rumor going around that Jay Leno was going to bid on a couple motorcycles online, though we never confirmed that. My friend specifically wanted to purchase a magneto for a hit and miss engine and that meant that we were stuck in Lowden since he was our ride... Boy it was a long day.

I still think of that auction each time I drive through Lowden and I see those buildings that held millions of dollars worth in possessions. I wonder what will become of my belongings when I pass away. I wonder if my kids will hold closely their family history? I think about the 2x4's that I scrambled around to make Traci a bench to sit on. I vividly recall reminding myself of how lucky I am to marry someone who would attend an auction during this stage of pregnancy. How she never complained or protested having to stand for several hours and instead she took joy in seeing those antique relics being auctioned to new homes. Somehow I wonder if there is another woman as tolerant as Traci or did I luck out with the last one?

We began the month of April by attending the Portland Auto Swap and as we walked around looking at piles of rusty cars, I was reminded of the auction back in June of 2013. Here she was watching after a kid whose name should have been "Perpetual Motion Galan" and once again she was accommodating and patient. All of this reminds me of an occasions when Traci and I attended a potluck after church. We met this older guy who also had an interest in cars and after a while Traci and him carried a good car conversation . Several minutes into the conversation he stopped the conversation and exclaimed, "I can't believe I'm sitting here talking to a woman about cars!"

Maybe one day I will find out, maybe I won't. Perhaps the answer is in front of me and I am unable to see it. I know the reflection in the mirror is a bit rough around the edges and my thoughts are scattered as the toys on my living room floor. Yet somehow, Traci chose me. Why was I the lucky one? I wonder why. Some things just don't make sense.

Lead Me

I look around and see my wonderful life, almost perfect from the outside. In picture frames I see my beautiful wife, always smiling. But on the inside I can hear her saying, "Lead me with strong hands. Stand up when I can't. Don't leave me hungry for love, chasing dreams, but what about us? Show me you're willing to fight, that I'm still the love of your life. I know we call this our home, but I still feel alone.”

I see their faces look in their innocent eyes, they're just children from the outside. I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine, they're independent. But on the inside, I can hear them saying... "Lead me with strong hands. Stand up when I can't. Don't leave me hungry for love, chasing dreams, but what about us? Show me you're willing to fight, that I'm still the love of your life. I know we call this our home, But I still feel alone."

So Father, give me the strength to be everything I'm called to be. Oh Father, show me the way to lead them. Won't You lead me? To lead them with strong hands. To stand up when they can't. Don't want to leave them hungry for love, chasing things that I could give up. I'll show them I'm willing to fight and give them the best of my life, so we can call this our home. Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone.
Sanctus Real - Lead Me